The Week Before Natalie's Visit and Parts of Her Visit

Oh goodness, I have a lot of catching up to do. I'll try to keep it short and sweet--but you may just have to allow yourself to get lost in my life for a while.

Here it goes!!!

Two weeks ago, I spent most of the week preparing for the arrival of Ms. Natalie. Pretty much ever since Natalie decided to be Super Awesome (by which I mean, she decided to come visit me for Thanksgiving) we've been planning and, most importantly, deciding on the menu for our very first solo Thanksgiving. Natalie (and may I also give a very special shout-out to Mama Bundschu--THANK YOU!) did spectacularly. She arrived on the 20th, unloaded her bags and became "The Girl Who Brought Thanksgiving to Spain." She also coordinated with my mom and delivered a package of winter running clothes and Jiff's peanut butter--It was like Christmas came early!

As you can see, everything one would need for the feast took up at least half of Nat's precious baggage space.

For most of the week before she came, I attempted to distract myself by being more social than usual (hard to believe, I know) and neglecting my work (though, I did make this balling Where the Sidewalk Ends handout). Here's some of the activities that I participated in:

• I went on a mid-week run with my friend from the Hash.
• I attempted (for the 2nd time) to figure out how to listen to live jazz. There are probably 3 different places within 2 blocks from me, but every time we try to get together, our plans are thwarted.
• On the Thursday before Natalie's arrival, I took another field trip, but this time with the bachilleratos, or the kids in their last two years of high school, to the play One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. The actors were all native English speakers, and I was extremely impressed with how excellent their stage accents were. The disadvantage to such excellent accents, of course, was that there were times when it was difficult even for me to understand all the lines delivered. I think the students did pretty well, though. There were times when you could tell they didn't, but generally they seemed to be getting the drift. The play was a bit.... strange... at parts, to the point that I couldn't relate. Most of those "strange" scenes were related to a bit of post-modern critique on the effect that the medical drugs had on mental health patients. 
• I went to the doctor (finally) and got antibiotics for my sinus whatever. Nice guy. Don't think he appreciated the fact that I could tell him all my symptoms and what I thought I had (though I did explain that I could be wrong, and he was the doctor).  I feel better, though, and that's the point. :)

The only other memorable part of my week was my second Adult ESL evening class. A couple of weeks ago, I was informed that I would be leading the conversation aspect to a course in Basic English. The enrolled "students" are actually my colleagues who enrolled this course to potentially improve their salaries. I would also hope that some are taking it to actually learn the language. 

At first I was a little miffed about teaching these classes--they didn't tell me I was supposed to be doing so until the Thursday before the first Monday class, and no one knew who the professor giving the course. I also wasn't tickled about having to come back to school in the evenings. Luckily M.C. took pity on me, and has rearranged my schedule (again) so that I have a good chunk of time between my last class with the kids and the time that I start with the adults. She also has included this hour and a half into my work hours.

The silver-lining is also three-fold:

1. I get to teach adults--regardless of how basic their level is. Preparation isn't bad and I have a syllabus to go by
2. I only live 20-30 minutes away from my school, depending on the mood of the metro gods and how fast I decide to walk.
3. There was an immediate, positive difference in the tension at my school after even the first class. The staffroom isn't so claustrophobic now. It's like those who were intimidated by English before now have a way to tackle it--and they want to try! It has at least made the tension between the teachers better. 

Then Natalie came! I went to go pick her up at the airport, and it was marvelous! She's such a trooper. We came back to my place, we ate lunch, took a nap, and took it easy. (Memorable moment: After our 2 hour nap, Natalie starts to open the Coke that I'd given her way back at the airport--and it sprayed EVERYWHERE!!! I remember sitting there thinking---"What the heck?!?!? Natalie!!! Make it STOP!"). She got to meet some of my hash friends that night. The Sunday after she arrived, we went to a fellow American's house and had a scrumptious Thanksgiving meal as a precursor to our own. Later in the week we went to Alcalá de Henares (my second time, her first) and wandered a bit. Natalie came to school with me on Wednesday and met M.C. and some of the teachers that I work with. We did way too much shopping (we both found boots!!). And we cooked the most amazing Thanksgiving meal (more to come in the following post)! We did a lot of dancing, singing, and just hanging out. On Wednesday, we went out to my favorite tapas place and had Brie cheese and caramelized onions. We also tried goat cheese with guacamole. She tried the amazing combination known as patas bravas. I'm starting to get a hang of tapas-and I like them a lot more now. I spent everyday waiting to get done with class so that I could run home and have an adventure with my friend. It was good to have a bit of home with me, even if it was just for a week. 

I will now proceed to go into more details about our visit as told through the Thanksgiving Day Saga....

 Be prepared!

Toledo, Mar-zee-pan, and "Cloistered" Nuns

Katie and Anni posing with the D&G of the age

Yesterday morning, I sacrificed a Saturday morning of sleeping in and surfing the Internet in favor of a Spanish history lesson. Adventure time! I packed my rucksack (British for "backpack") with a packed lunch, my camera, my trusty Uno cards, and set off for the bus station. There I met Jayson (fellow Fulbright), Katie (my Lovely Hash Companion), and Anni (the Hapless English Girl). We bordered the bus and three-quarters of an hour later (British for "45 minutes later"), we got off in the magical land that is Toledo.

Before I go further, let me explain all my British translations: I may have spent the day with English-speakers but the entire day was a language lesson. Therefore, I will share with you all the British words I learned in the same way that I share with you Spanish ones.

 

Practicing my Fulbright Scholarship-ness

Toledo lies 70km (43.4 mi) south of Madrid. and was founded by the Romans sometime in the "Bronze Age" (that's exact timing for you, there). Throughout the course of history it became known as "the city of the three cultures" because of the Jewish, Muslim, and Christian communities that all resided within its walls. Its Golden Age was during the 11th century, under Muslim rule. After being reconquered by Christians, it became the capital of Spain until the Catholic monarchs moved their court to Madrid in 1560.

My experience of Toledo was heavenly. Toledo is a city of narrow side-streets and medieval architecture. I was in love. Pedestrians and cars fight out right-of-way, leaving walkers attempting to squeeze into the stone walls. Swords and other medieval weapons hang in every shop window--making you think that Toledans must have a thing for violence, until you learn that Toledo's steel production was world renowned in the 16th century.

You really feel like you've stepped back in time. We visited the cathedral, saw the outside of a mosque (couldn't find our way in), walked around the famous Alcázar (Spanish-Arabic for "fortress") twice, and saw the oldest synagogue in town. El Greco (a famous Greek painter who moved to Spain) resided there back in the day, but our timing was all wrong: all the museums dedicated to him were closed for renovation. So instead we went for the next best thing--mar-zee-pan (as my friend Katie would say, marzipan for us American folk). Toledo, apart from being well known for its ability to craft metal in ways to kill others, is also known for that soft, sugary delectable that so often comes on Christmas Cake (fruitcake). Naturally this reality means that every shop sells some form of mar-zee-pan. So which is the best?

Jayson, of course, had the answer: The Cloistered Nuns. Of course, we said to ourselves, of course cloistered nuns make marzipan.

When we finally found the place (after much walking and questioning of the locals), we were beside ourselves with excitement and anticipation. We had heard tell of a turnstile revolved in such a way that you never saw who gave you the marzipan, and they never saw you. We decided what we wanted and made Jayson order. We rang the bell.

A quick snap of the turnstile with the nun's back turned

Nothing happened.

We rang the bell again.

A light came on and the smiley-est nun you've ever seen appeared, asked what we wanted, waited for Jayson to put the money on the turnstile retrieved the money, and gave us our order. Disappointment.

Until we ate the marzipan :)

It was a great day: the weather was excellent, the company amazing, the sites, history, and views of the surrounding countryside were all breathtaking.

And I got to see a "Cloistered" nun.

Katy Perry, Linkin Park, and Hot Chocolate (Pudding?)

The last few weeks have been a blur of work and dancing the night away. Which means that I've been trying to catch up on sleep. :) Now that I've managed to catch up on sleep, I've been able to actually do things. So here are some of those events:

My school has a garden out front. It's not an English garden, but more a wild, tangled, overgrown stretch of land that holds, among other plants, small cherry tomatoes, rosemary, lavender, a cactus and an olive tree. At the beginning of October, the elderly gentleman who maintains the area came to my bilingual group during P.E. and asked if we couldn't help him pick the olives!

It was the best P.E. class I've ever had!

The kids had so much fun... the tree is a different case, the pobre. The students got creative with how to gather those olives hiding in the uppermost branches. I was also surprised that such a bunch of city kids knew how to climb trees. I got to take pictures with the school's super fancy camera that I have no idea how to work. After they were done collecting olives, the caretaker gave them a lecture on olives. I believe he said that there is only one type of olive, and that black olives are no different from green olives: it's just that they dye some of them, or that some are harvested before others. Sort of like seedless grapes.











Last weekend, the hash was pretty tame as far as a course goes, but utterly bananas when it came to the weather. We drove out of the city, into the beautiful Spanish countryside. It was the first run in awhile that you couldn't see some part of Madrid will out running. We started on a hill, where it was essentially snowing, then ran down to where it wasn't so stormy, and back up the hill where it was raining. We even ran though a village, like a real one. As an American, I don't think there is anyway to understand what the heck a village is. You just have to run through one to understand. I wish I had brought my camera, because it was absolutely, breathtakingly beautiful.

After the hash, Katie (my hashing sister) and I went to the free concert being hosted in Madrid by MTV. This year's Europe music awards was held in Madrid, and so there were lots of famous people around. I had a friend swear she saw Justin Bieber... though he was speaking fluent Spanish to some pre-teen Spanish girls and he didn't have a body guard. The place (La puerta de Alcála) was packed with people. Katie and I were separated from the people we came with, and after attempting to relocate them, we gave up and sat on a terrace outside and drank wine. We could still see the stage, but everyone looked really small. If we stood up, though, we could see a big screen with closeups of the stage. It worked out. I got to hear Katy Perry and Linkin Park. Katie and I had a blast!

Coffee break while the kids are on a trip

Finally, the two most recent gastronomical experiences I have had are palmeras and hot chocolate. Palmeras are Elephant Ears. I've never had them before, but they were so good! This pastry is flaky, and just slightly sweet. You can get your's plain, covered in chocolate, or in a sugar glaze. They have just the right amount of flake, crunch, and fluffiness. I didn't have my camera with me the day I tried hot chocolate. Hot chocolate is straight up hot pudding. It was quite tasty, but rather heavy and not as comforting as American hot chocolate. Worth the experience though!

I am also (impatiently) awaiting the arrival of Natalie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sooooo excited. We're going to do Thanksgiving... and... I ... just.... can't.... waitttttt!!!!!

Just a few updates! If anyone has one of their own... please let me know!

"What a Beautiful October Day!"

Thank you for all the comments (and reads) that I got on my last post. It's always a good reminder that 1)  words really do reach others, and 2) that there are people out there as passionate as yourself. Since the last post, there have been numerous, deep, lovely, comforting, and challenging conversations. I received a wealth of advice, personal anecdotes, and felt the love being sent from across the ways. ¡Gracias!

Reflecting on some of the advice I received, I realize I have to be mature and admit that I'm going through C.S.--*scary music* Culture Shock. I also realize I've been in denial about it (Don't worry, I am not discounting my last post in anyway. I am merely beginning to understand why my reaction to ignorance might have been so strong). It still surprises me that C.S. has come so soon... I thought it would have taken just a bit longer to hit. Like try December or January. Searching my soul for why Mr. C.S. has been haunting me, I stumbled across the answer--my work. I am used to going to class in a foreign country, I am used to expecting there not to be American brands in the supermarket, I expected cultural differences, but the environment I have encountered at school (er, work) has made all the difference.

There is a tension between administration and faculty at my school that has been incredible hard for me to handle. I may be that fun-loving, spunky, outgoing, opinionated person that we all know and love, but at my core, I just want us all to hold hands and go skipping to llaollao (oh my gosh best frozen yogurt ever). That just doesn't happen at my school.

Instead, I sit through weekly meetings where the tension could be cut with a knife. I am a peace-keeper and it takes all my energy to not mediate the situation...or burst into tears. The class bell sounds like the bell they ring for a tornado drill--which means that I immediately go into fight-or-flight...every 50 minutes. I am dealing with an expectation for myself (being the first kick-ass Fulbright TA at my school!!!!) and my limitations ("Uhh, yea... I can improvise a lesson... Oh. You want handouts, too?... gotcha...") mixing with Spanish education culture. And then there's the fact that I can't make photocopies the day of: I have to have them ready 24 hours in advance (why can't you just push the d*&^ button?!). Or the kids' lack of behavior. The little stuff like that. The inconsequential matter that builds up without you realizing it, until you start feeling down and you can't explain why.

Now I will proceed to go all Elizabeth Gilbert on you:

Luckily, God (or whatever you want to call the It of the Universe) has a way of clearing the heavens and bringing my fuzziness into focus. First came the thought. It was a thought that just appeared in my head, simple clear and as repetitive as a Buddhist chant: If you're going to ask questions, you better make time for the answers. All day, every day, in the small quiet parts of my head, my heart kept chanting. I translated it into Spanish and stuck it on my wall where I could see it.

Well, I found myself saying to Me one day, perhaps we should make some time... it sounds like we want to. That's when I became aware of my general apathy, how I was extremely lethargic after not feeling like I accomplished a whole lot. I blamed it on the weather. I blamed it on a lack of exercise. I blamed it on too much exercise. I blamed it on hunger. I blamed it on feeling blah. But despite it all, I couldn't sit still.

The past two weeks I have done nothing but surround myself with people, or busied myself with work. If I wasn't with someone, I was making plans to go somewhere with someone. I was anxious when people wouldn't text me back, or would tell me that A and B got together, but they didn't invite me. That's when I realized I was running, and it was time for me to sit and do nothing.

Being Sam, I naturally had to plan this time to Just Sit (you can laugh). I decided Retiro was a good place to do it, and so that's where I went today. It was the perfect autumn day. The sky was blue with white puffy clouds, there was a fierce wind, and the leaves were a'changin' and a'fallin'. I even crunched through a few. I spent most of the day thinking, "What a beautiful October day" (...oh dear...). I took my lunch, and eased into sitting. It's a process for me, if you don't know.

As I started to feel the knots in my shoulders relax, and my mind clear, an unfortunate event took place. Just know that it was disturbing. As I fled from my bench deeper into the park, I started to curse Madrid and Spain and My Life. I was angry. I had tried to sit still, I had tried to start rediscovering the pleasant aspects to living abroad, hadn't I? Why did that have to happen to me? TO ME?!?!

Just let it go, Sam. It could've happened anywhere. Just let it go.

That's what the voice told me. It was persistent, from deep within, and all around. It helped calm me down. I just need to let go of the fact that there are people who hate the States for no reason. I just need to let go of the tension in my school: I can't do anything about it, I don't need to fix it 'cuz it ain't broken, and it's not my fault. I just need to let go of all those little annoyances at school, in my piso, in my daily life here in Madrid.

What a relief.

I can't say I'm completely out of my funk, but it helps that my Fulbright people are coming out of their own. It helps to know that my feelings are probably related to culture shock, and that I'm not the only one experiencing it. Therefore, this next week I'm just going to try to let it (whatever that might be) go. There's a city to be discovered, there are people to meet.

And I'm going to be ok. :)

I'm done apologizing for the way you think my culture is

Living abroad has its ups and downs, that's just a fact. I would like to start this post by saying that

1. I recognize that I'm living in Spain, and not everyone gets that chance,
2. My life is a full one: I have work that is (more or less) fulfilling, a social life, and people who love me unconditionally

That being said, this week has been a hard week. I'm woman enough to admit that. There was the emotional strain of being away from loved ones, realizing what that meant for me in the future, a long week with the kids, and, even with my extreme social calendar, just feeling a bit out of touch with my homies here in Spain.

One of the aspects that I love the most about living abroad here in Madrid is my international community. I have met Germans, Brits, Belgians, Finnish, French and Spanish individuals to name a few. My core group of Inters (as I will call them now for the hell of it) are extremely amazing people. They are open, respectful, and all have great senses of humor. They each add color and spice to life. 

Some of their Inters (or ones I meet in travel), however, are the exact opposite. Normally, I can avoid such people, but this week God planted several (and sometimes repeatedly) in my path. Due to such individuals, by Sunday I was emotionally and physically drained of having to defend the USA and my culture.

I am trying to look at this past week as a strength-building exercise. 

As an American (which in itself is a loaded word) living abroad, I believe that it is my duty to represent the USA as honestly and openly as possible. I know I can't change the world's opinion, but I do have the ability to influence the people I meet. Sometimes this sense of duty is one that I take on myself (i.e., teaching culture in school). There are times, however, when it is thrust upon me by ignorant sleeze-balls who have misinterpreted television and movies. They seem to think they can one-up me. 

Sorry jerks don't know who they are messing with. 

Maybe it was Julie Rogers-Martin and all her "while you're out on a Colombia Pres Youth excursion, you are representing Colombia Pres.... so don't disappoint me" talks, or maybe it was my eye-opening experience in Argentina, but being a "prepared" American is something that I strive for now. I attempt to be aware of my culture, how that manifests itself in me, and to prepare counterarguments from the ignorant.

So what am I getting at? I learned this week that I might be taking other Inters' opinions on the States personally. I mean, there are only so many times that you can hear "Americans are soooo stupid and ignorant" while you're standing talking to someone. Do I see the irony and humor in such statements? Yes, but that doesn't mean there isn't a bite. It saddens me that those from the States are seen as people who don't listen, who are worldly unaware, who are woefully ignorant of other cultures, when some of the Inters I talk to are self-fulfilling prophecies. 

To you Inters who get under my skin: Take your own advice. If you think Americans are ignorant and closed-minded, and you dislike that tendency so much, then why are you, too, closed-minded? If you want to talk smack about my culture and me, be my guest. But you better be open to the defense. Don't expect me to take it lying down. I can't represent everyone in the States (Isn't that what makes the States so damn interesting, so unique?). We have so many people, cultures, thoughts, and opinions. I can, however, share with you what I know. 

I wonder if this is how the French feel when visiting the States.

It takes a very unique and strong American individual to live abroad. You either have to be a completely ignorant and closed-off American or be able to take any negativism with a grain of salt. Deep down I know that I will return to live in the United States. I tell Inters that I will because I want to be in my culture, that I want to be speak in my own language. Really, though, it's because I don't want to wake up hating my nationality.

Being abroad has a strange effect on me. I would say before Argentina, I couldn't identify with the word "patriotic." But being abroad makes me more proud of my country than I can express. While in Argentina, my struggle was how do I fit myself into an international community as a respectful proud American when everyone else hates America? From that experience I learned that unless I find my own way of loving and respecting my culture, how will others? I realized I can admit faults in my culture, and still love it. Just because some outsider sees the USA negatively, doesn't actually make it 100% evil or a horrible place (sorry Al-Qaeda).

So, the question of this week is: How do I continue to represent myself and my culture, without taking the imbeciles so personally? Ojalá I´ll find a way.

I also hope that I've expressed myself in such a way that I come off as frustrated and not arrogant. I know I don't always listen, I know I'm not always respectful or open to other cultures. We're all human.

Shoot, maybe that's what I need to remember when I talk to one of these clowns: You are human, too.

Again, I understand that this mood, this struggle, is more in the moment than a serious issue. I am an extremely lucky girl. I have such a great support system (that means you!) both here and back in the States. I appreciate all the love that you send me, verbally, in prayer, in thought. All the Enlightened Love makes its way over the Great Pond, and I feel it filter into my heart, thus warming my soul and recharging me.

Thank you so much to everyone!!!!